Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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