we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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