I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
