he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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