don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
vagina is talking i cant
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
