OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
