i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
