i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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