Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
