Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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