Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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