I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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