why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
