i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
