so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
