office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
