if i died would you start the facebook group?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
