my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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