It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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