if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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