Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
