the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
