I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
