dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize