apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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