Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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