I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
