I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
