The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
