I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
