he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
