it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
