yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
