Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
