Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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