mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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