So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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