Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
