I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
