We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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