You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
