How'd it feel making her break her religion?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
