oh god the rape fog is back!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
