I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
