Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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