He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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