i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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