Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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