love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
