just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
