I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
