so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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