I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
