Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
