the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
