And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
