glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize