I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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