when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
