Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
