Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We left an ass print on the piano.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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