I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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