the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want to make out with him forever
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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