i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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